Parental separation is never easy on children. Kids can react in different ways, including negatively and by pulling away from their parents. Sometimes, this behavior is the result of one parent trying to turn a child against the other parent. Dealing with these situations can be frustrating, and it is important to get advice from a skilled Des Moines child custody attorney. If you suspect parental alienation, an attorney can help you understand your options.
It is normal for parents to have negative emotions toward each other after a separation or divorce. Disagreements over a custody arrangement are also normal; however, it is important that parents do not let these discussions and feelings influence their child. It becomes a problem when these emotions affect the way a parent talks to and behaves around their child and when a parent tries to turn their child against the other parent.
What Is Parental Alienation?
Parental alienation describes a range of behaviors exhibited by children after actions taken by a parent. These actions are intended to emotionally isolate the child from the other parent, causing them to resent or fear the other parent. The alienating parent may lie about the actions and behaviors of the other parent, prevent the child from spending time with the other parent, or blame the separation on the other parent.
The alienating parent may be engaging in these behaviors because they are upset with the other parent or because they are hoping to gain an advantage in a custody case by influencing their child’s wishes.
These actions can harm an entire family and be very distressing for the alienated parent. Parental alienation is most damaging to children. If you suspect your child is showing signs of parental alienation, it is essential that you talk with an attorney to determine what you can do.
Signs of Parental Alienation
The alienating parent and the child experiencing the alienating behaviors may show signs of parental alienation when it occurs. Alienating parents may:
- Provide a child with too much information about the separation
- Disrespect you in front of your child
- Encourage your child to avoid visitation with you
- Accuse you of serious actions, such as child neglect, abuse, or domestic violence
- Interfere with custody
- Prevent your child from communicating with you
- Make false complaints against you, either to governmental agencies or law enforcement
A lot of parental alienation may occur when you are not present, so it is important to pay attention to your child’s actions and behaviors. Children of alienating parents may:
- Have sudden and unfounded fear, distrust, or anger toward you
- State things about you that are untrue
- Talk badly about you
- Believe the other parent can do no wrong
- Parrot the language of the other parent
- Show no regret for the ways they are acting
- Have worsened behaviors after spending time with the other parent
What Can You Do to Address Parental Alienation?
There are steps you can take to address parental alienation, protecting your child’s interest and preventing worsening alienation. If possible, the first thing you should do is talk to your co-parent. You can discuss the effect the behavior has on your child, and this could lead to your co-parent changing their behavior. Directly communicating can preserve your co-parenting relationship without requiring more complex court intervention.
If discussing the issue does not change the alienating parent’s behavior, or you are not able to safely have this discussion, there are other options for addressing parental alienation. You should:
- Document Behaviors. Make note of negative actions and behaviors demonstrated by your co-parent and your children. This can be important evidence for future actions and can help you get the support you need.
- Obtain Professional Support: You can work with a social worker, mental health professional, or mediator. These professionals can assess the situation, support a custody evaluation, and help protect your child’s well-being.
- Seek a Custody Modification: Finally, you can secure court intervention if the behavior continues. The evidence from the documentation and professional assistance can support your case for a modified child custody order.
FAQs
Q: What Are the Behavioral Manifestations of Alienation?
A:There are numerous behavioral manifestations of parental alienation in children, including:
- Repeatedly complaining about one parent without real justification
- Seeing one parent as all good and the other as all bad
- Having no guilt about their actions
- Repeating or parroting language and stories told by the other parent
- Believing they have a reason for their negative feelings, but the reasons are frivolous
- Transferring the unexplained hatred of one parent to that parent’s extended family
- Automatically supporting one parent in any scenario
- Claiming their dislike is their own
Q: Is Parental Alienation Illegal in Iowa?
A: Parental alienation is not a crime in Iowa but is frequently considered in Iowa family courts when determining custody. The court will review various factors to determine what custody arrangement is in a child’s interest. Parental alienation is not in a child’s interest.
Although parental alienation itself is not listed, Iowa courts will consider the ability of each parent to support the other parent’s relationship with their child and the child’s safety and well-being.
Q: How Can You Fight Against Parental Alienation?
A: One of the most effective ways to fight against parental alienation upfront is to ensure you have a strong, positive relationship with your child and that they feel comfortable confiding in you. If your co-parent engages in parental alienation, a strong relationship with your child may enable you to talk about it with them.
If you notice signs of parental alienation, you should also consider talking with your co-parent, attending therapy as a family, getting professional help for your child, and potentially modifying custody orders.
Q: What Are Unfit Parent Laws in Iowa?
A: Unfit parent laws in Iowa refer to when the court decides it is not in a child’s best interest to be under the physical or legal custody of one parent. There are several factors that may influence a court to determine a parent is unfit, including:
- A history of domestic violence
- The inability or unwillingness of a parent to provide for the basic needs and care of a child
- A parent’s refusal to let the child have continuing contact with the other parent without just cause
Protecting Your Child’s Well-Being
Parental alienation can have serious effects on a child’s mental, emotional, and psychological health. If you suspect parental alienation, contact Stange Law Firm. We can help you determine your options.
